Boys Behaving Badly - Neil Morrissey: Care Home Kid

                             

For many of us, childhood bring happy, comforting memories, which only really comes with the love of a family. For the rest, Neil Morrissey included, a childhood separated from family into a world of care involving, ‘aunts’ instead of mothers and ‘houses’ instead of a home, childhood becomes something that in adult life, becomes a painful repressed memory.

In this achingly honest look at the care system, Morrissey revisits his past, delving into how and why he and his brother were sent to separate children’s homes for, what he recalls, a petty act of theft.

Neil was sent to Penkhull children’s home in Stoke-on-Trent where he remained in the care system until 17. He was never reunited into the family unit. His beloved elder brother, Stephen, was also sent away but to a different home, Riverside, which has a dark history of sexual and physical abuse. Stephen passed away some years ago and never spoke of his time at Riverside, which only adds to Morrissey’s anguish over his brother’s potential experience.

Aside from the humbling insight into his confused and emotionally detached childhood, Morrissey also poses important questions about the care system in general; why are there 90,000 children in the UK currently living in care, and who is looking out for them? The answer, sadly, is not many people. A life in care for some involves severe abuse, neglect, emotional disembodiment and a strong sense of rejection.

Watching his eyes glisten and his voice choke as he reminisces about his late brother is utterly heartbreaking. To not only lose a close sibling, but also one who was ripped away at a time when they could have bonded all the more through puberty is unthinkable.

Morrissey’s quest to find with the people he grew up with in the home brings a bittersweet reunion.

“I do have black days,” mutters one of his ‘sisters’ from the care home whose lasting problems are evident.

The harrowing anecdotes of the two men who suffered abuse whilst at the same home at Neil’s brother were earth-shatteringly distressing. It’s almost impossible to watch without your jaw slowly dropping in horror and dismay.

Of all the people he met in this programme, not one seemed to have fully got over their experience as a Care Home Kid, and still battle with the same demons that stole their childhood in the first place. Morrissey’s guilt and anger that his experience wasn’t so bad in comparison, is a natural reaction for someone so empathic and again, the mystery of what happened to his brother reared its ugly head once more.

Despite his fight for retribution by meeting the social worker who rubber-stamped him and his brother’s demise into care, it transpires that although he thought he had a relatively normal childhood and was no more than a scallywag, it transpires that the authorities felt his parent’s were not doing enough to care for him and his brothers, and thought it best to place them into the care system, something which goes on regularly to this day.

Morrissey’s story certainly isn’t unique and the care system is something that desperately needs reviewing in this country, but with nationwide cuts and a constant demonising of youth today is it any wonder why so many young offenders in youth prisons have been through the care system?

As he so poignantly puts it; ‘there was a line in my report that said, “case closed”. But the case is never really closed.’

Words echoing the cries of many, Neil. 

Supersize vs Superskinny Kids – A Serious Wake Up Call For Parents

                                       

Seeing as though we can’t get enough of television that scrutinises the way we look, Channel 4 have undergone their latest venture of tackling the country’s obesity crisis and the growing number of Eating Disorders at its roots – childhood.

The programme shares an identical format to its predecessor Supersize vs Superskinny (which I couldn’t get enough of, maybe it’s a smug thing?) of bringing in 2 individuals at opposite ends of the weight scale but with equally dangerous eating habits to a ‘feeding clinic’ to learn about healthy eating habits. Only this time, as they’re children, they bring a parent along too.

The frankness of the programme is unsettling at times but like so many documentaries dealing with major health and social issues, completely necessary. When 15 year old overweight Ieuan shows little regard for losing weight and the desire to have gastric band surgery, the effects of celebrity diets and overly-reported extreme weight loss becomes a reality. Healthy body image has become skewed over the years and its affecting children more than we think.  

The number of people diagnosed with Eating Disorders has doubled in the past decade, according to this show. That is a shocking statistic, and one that isn’t to be taken lightly. It seems a perfect juxtaposition that whilst so many children across the UK are damaging their health by gaining weight and destroying their childhood, another monster is stealing childhoods in a more secret, destructive and resilient way. Eating Disorders are far more difficult to overcome than over-eating, in younger people anyway. You don’t hear from many people how they were fat as a child and its haunted them ever since, but an Eating Disorder effects its victims, quite often, for life.

Although I admire the show’s intent in getting the message out there about looking out for signs of Eating Disorders in their children, however the section in which a young girl talked about her experience of Anorexia was all too idealistic. Skeletal pictures of her during her illness were shown (despite what Eating Disorder charities say about the negative impact of such images) and she spoke openly about how Pro-Anorexia websites fed her obsession with losing weight. But in her case, she was lucky and unusual as it took a trip to the doctors and some positive thinking for her to make a full recovery.

Of course that is fantastic, but not the usual case with Anorexia sufferers, who can carry the burden of their illness for a lifetime, I should know as I know people who well into their twenties still have issues with food that started in their early teens. So whilst the show is trying to promote understanding and recognition of Eating Disorders, this episode especially, did not seem to justify the true effects of Anorexia.

Another interesting element the show threw up was the weigh in at the end, 3 months after the initial filming. Both of them had only gained or lost 3 pounds, respectively. With the adult version, it is usually the start of a transformation, as adults seem to have more determination to change their weight. This is worrying because as the programme tries to hound to us; eating problems that start in childhood take years to undo, and the two individuals involved in the show are testimony to this.

So whilst I expected a clichéd and over-the-top scare mongering horror-fest, Supersize vs Superskinny Kids is actually a programme every parent with any concerns for their child’s dietary health should watch, even to just assure yourself that your kids aren’t so bad after all. 

If you want to learn more about Eating Disorders, take a look at this fantastic website for more information.

Girls Behind Bars – The Relentless Cycle of Drugs, Crime and Desperation.

  

When it comes to criminals and prisons, everyone has an opinion. I urge you to watch this before deciding what yours is.

BBC Scotland’s Girls Behind Bars follows a handful of women as they struggle to get through their sentence at Cornton Vale Prison in Scotland. With insight into a lifestyle that many of us will never even come close to, it’s every bit as depressing, enlightening and gripping as you would expect.

Described by the voice over (Timothy Spall, no less) as a ‘safe sanctuary away from their chaotic lives outside’, Cornton Vale, although no picnic, is shown in a different light to prisons in their traditional sense. Unlike many prison documentaries that depict bullying, poor food and living conditions, Girls Behind Bars focuses on the personal lives of these women, and how they’re each stuck in an unending vortex of crime, sentence, release, reoffend.

Over 90% of the women in Cornton Vale are addicted to hard drugs. No surprise there of course, as it’s the main reason for most of them ending up there in the first place. However, watching them try to score drugs of newcomers who are ‘banking’ (holding drugs inside themselves somehow) and vomiting relentlessly into buckets as they’re ‘rattling’ (suffering severe withdrawal symptoms from heroin), you see the true side of addiction. Prison is merely a breeding ground for users, and with the constant influx of drugs from visitors, those addicts can continue their habit even in the very place that, if caught, could condemn them for further time inside.

However, it’s clear to see that many of these women want to get clean and end their life of crime, but as soon as they’re out in the same environment that put them in prison in the first place, they’re making the same mistakes that they did before. And they’re all too aware of this fact.

The saddest truth, admitted by the likable but tragic Theresa, is that nothing that’s ever happened to her before has stopped her from taking heroin. Residing herself to that fact that once she’s out, it’ll be a matter of time before she’s back in.

The women in the 2 episodes so far each have their own unique story to tell. Zoe, for example, the angel faced 19 year old with a determination to take her own life and regularly has violent outbursts to staff is probably the saddest case yet, is the picture of a victim of years of sexual abuse. This is the true effect of abuse, and it’s a heartbreaking one.

Young offender Kerry, a prime example of someone trying desperately to put her past behind her and dissociate herself from drugs once she’s been released. She manages for 6 months, but then what?

The questions posed by the series are abundant. What is life like for the children who’s mother is in one of these prisons? They have their own prison sentence, being moved around between children’s homes and foster families. Families suffer just as much, as we see from the euphoria expressed by June’s 16 year old daughter at her release, and the emotion shown by Kerry’s mother when she returns home for the first time in years, describing it as ‘torture’.

All the time you ask yourself, ‘what can be done for these women?’ ‘Have they only themselves to blame for their actions?’ Sometimes, it’s down to very unfortunate circumstances, falling into the wrong crowd or having unspeakably terrible things happen you. Ultimately, nobody in prison has chosen that life willingly; their environment, personal relationships and circumstances are all contributing factors.

Like heroin, once it’s got you, it’s incredibly difficult to set yourself free.

How to Live With Women – more like How Not To Be A Person

                                        

“I’m a sexist pig,” chortles Terry, the charming young man embarking on BBC3’s latest attempt to turn around selfish, out-of-touch young people into functional human beings. This time it’s in the guise of transforming lazy young men with sexist and chauvinistic views on women by the way of making them spend some time working with ‘inspirational women’. So not so much a how-to guide as another point the finger and judge today’s youth, which we can’t seem to get enough of.

If you’ve given BBC3’s Working Girls a watch recently, you’ll be all too familiar with the concept as this is basically the same, but with the opposite sex. If you’re unfortunate enough to have watched the latest episode you’re sure to have been equally repulsed by the behaviour of Kaycie, and her and Terry are two are peas in a pod; sulky, arrogant, defiant and downright rude to everyone (or that’s what the programme depicts at least).

Oh and he wears makeup. Say no more.

The long-suffering fiancé, Tanya, who’s barely more than a child herself AND is missing her right hand (which is never actually mentioned but it’s noticeable), has, at 18 years old, the life of a downtrodden housewife. She’s literally taking care of 2 young children, cooking and cleaning, all one handed. How can you not despair?

As this young man is put through his paces mucking out pigs, flying a plane and, err, being asked personal questions about why his looks are so important, the reasons for his backward attitude become apparent. He’s a vain, self-involved moron. Honestly, nothing more. The dimwit found it “shocking” to see a man cooking a meal. There’s nothing to crack here, just a quick personality readjustment which seems to take a few days and fills an hour-long slot on prime time telly.

During his time with a lifestyle journalist, they start to explore his need for makeup and excess grooming and he plays the ‘I was bullied in school’ card. Pardon my cynicism but childhood experiences are merely factors in adult personality traits, not direct influences.  Again to reference another similar programme format, Channel 4’s Beauty and the Beast also features such nonsense excuses for vanity. Its not, I’m afraid, get a grip and go out and experience what the real world is like.

Which is exactly what the premise of said programmes is but it consistently fails to work. What concerns me is the GENERAL attitude from many young people that they can think, do, say whatever they like without consequence. Even when production teams scourer the country searching for ‘opposite’ lifestyles for them to live alongside to demonstrate why the individual’s thinking is wrong, all too often their ‘views’ are too fixed and they can quickly lapse back into the lifestyle they had before.

Terry, on the other hand, did have his little revelation, so at least he DID learn something. Which is more than can be said for Kaycie on Working Girls, (honestly, it wasn’t even worth me writing a post about it, it infuriated me that much, but if you want to check it out, watch it here) 

Jamie’s Dream School – Who’s teaching whom?

                                      

The highly publicised Jamie-Oliver-Saving-The-Kids-Extravaganza finally aired last night, kicking off to an inevitable start. Getting a group of disinterested, unmotivated teens that failed most of their GCSEs to get into learning again is going to take more than some highly accomplished yet completely untrained experts? Strange.

Jamie does likes to remind us a good few times from the outset that he did completely rubbish at school and left at 16 with few qualifications. So he’s just like these kids and can totally empathise with their situation. Only problem is that the aim of this experiment (well…tv show) is to get them back into the education system by inspiring them through unorthodox teaching methods. So even IF yachting lessons with Dame Ellen Macarthur and dissecting rats with Professor Robert Winston does get their creative juices flowing, A Levels are going to seem rather boring in comparison. But hey, we’ll have to wait and see what the outcome is.  

Predictably, the whole experiment seems to be more about how untrained academics and celebrities can learn to teach, rather than getting the kids to be interested in learning again.

Bizarrely, David Starkey, a legendary historian with immeasurable knowledge of all things in British History ends up having his wrist slapped for daring to call one portly individual ‘fat’, in a comment which I certainly interpreted as a joke. The individual didn't exactly take kindly to the comment, branding it 'disrespectful'. 

Starkey, unfortunately, fell victim to the ‘can’t teach em’ crowd and got very draconian on them when trying to get them to pay attention. Watch below to see him struggle with this band of youngsters.

When headteacher ‘Dabbs’ (cringe) reacts with shock and dismay at Starkey’s comment, my heart sank. If kids can get away with disciplinary action being taken at the slightest misdemeanor from their teacher then no wonder they won’t pay attention. Why should they? They can sit back, untouchable, not pay attention and then sob on television that the system has failed them.

Children and young people do respond to discipline, I should know, one of my favourite teachers at school was the strictest man alive, but he got all of us through our maths GCSE because he was tough on us. He ruled his classroom with an iron fist but we all sat and hung on his every word because he was just a brilliant, natural teacher.

The biggest problem with the whole concept is that kids have changed and won’t necessarily respond to traditional teaching methods. They need a hands-on approach, not sat facing the front listening to facts, even if it’s coming from David Starkey. He also picked Anglo Saxon artifacts to show them and compared them to the ‘bling’ that rappers wear today; a tenuous link and probably too far back in history to get these urban tearaways interested.

There was a report recently that talked about ex-soldiers going into schools to teach, again, to inspire youngsters and adopt a fresher approach to teaching. Similarly to this scheme, it will only work in certain areas, with adults who have a natural charisma and energy with young people, being an expert at something just isn’t enough to get them going.

It takes a special person to inspire a class of 16 year olds, and I’m sorry Jamie, but unless you’re willing to rewrite the entire national curriculum, stick with school meals. That was something you got spot on. 

Secret NHS Diaries – Shocking, disturbing, but a necessary investigation

                 

Dispatches have brought us yet another investigative documentary that will certainly have tongues wagging and NHS chief executives sweating up and down the country.

Ken Rashid, Harry Pinner and Annie Walters all agreed to be filmed to show the reality of dying in the UK today, all from very different illnesses in different environments but all experiencing inadequate care from the NHS. Naturally, I would approach something like this with caution, for being overly biased and emotive. These are but 3 cases in the hundreds of thousands who die each year, however, the sheer magnitude of their plight for a comfortable death shows us a scarier side to death than we might ever have imagined.

It’s difficult to say which part was the most difficult to watch.  It is no doubt moving when Lynn Pinner is affectionately cooing love and affection for her emaciated husband Harry, who’s emphysema is slowly and painfully killing him. Harry, like some people, elected to die at home rather than live out his final moments in a sterile hospital environment without his wife at his side. But rather than dying peacefully and comfortably in his own home, we see Lynn desperately making numerous phone calls to district nurses, her GP, ambulances and doctors, trying to get pain relief for Harry. Although it’s very upsetting seeing Lynn coming round to the realisation that they have to wait longer and longer for someone to help, even when Harry is clearly dying, this is definitely the most desirable option for death, compared to what else we’re shown.

Ken Rashid, dying from a multitude of ailments including Parkinson’s disease, pneumonia and hospital infections receives the most horrendously demeaning, patronising and disrespectful treatment from the nurses. At one point we hear that his family are “concerned about the sensitivity of the staff’. Concerned? They will no doubt be outraged when they see the secret footage of one male nurse impatiently trying to force Ken to swallow his medicine, despite him having a condition that makes it difficult to swallow. I’m quite confident that the nurses shown in the secret footage no longer have a job.

But are the problems to do with the cost of care? Or is it poor communication between district nurses, GPs and hospitals? Maybe it’s just the lack of compassion for the elderly and dying? Whether it’s one or a combination of all of these factors, and more, the situation is quite frankly (excuse the pun) dire.

Even someone like Annie, who has no fear of death because of her religious beliefs and long term illness, all she wants is to die in a peaceful and comfortable environment. However, she needs palliative care (round the clock, higher quality care) for her deteriorative motor condition. But palliative care isn’t exactly widely available as most go to cancer patients, despite the disease only accounting for 25% of deaths.

Despite the earnest apologies from the hospitals to the patient’s families at the end of the programme, it doesn’t alter the fact that everyone who has seen this will think twice about where their loved ones end up when they are nearing the end of their life. Nobody should have to go through such pain and torment, ESPECIALLY when the Government’s End of Life Care Strategy is meant to ensure no one goes without adequate care in their final weeks.  But as this clearly demonstrates, something has to change. Perhaps now it will.